are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
