I just made out with a guy for $7.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize