I think I died a long time ago.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Floor bacon is actually really good
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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