East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
