he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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