morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
