How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I love you.
Bad choice
Two words: nipple clamps
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