ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
