This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
