even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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