If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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