I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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