I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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