my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
