dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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