there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
