haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
