i will never coherently bang her
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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