he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
