i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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