Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
