Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
