i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
