Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
