smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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