How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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