He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
