We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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