you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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