I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
