I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
