I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
