Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
