I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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