remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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