Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
