the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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