He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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