Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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