I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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