i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
