the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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