dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
