So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
