I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
