Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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