so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
