I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
A bitchslap is in order.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
