your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize