and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
