I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
