He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
