Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
