I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize