I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is Oprah even human
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