You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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