Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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