everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
