Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
