We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
