it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
