I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it hurts more in the daytime
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
