We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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