The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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