You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
