My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
