so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
