Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
