All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
