Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I love you.
Bad choice
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