Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
