I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
