I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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